Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Unconditional Love

We find them, fall in love with them and bring them home.  Often they only just fit in our hands when we do and seem so fragile. They become such a part of our lives that we can't imagine not having them around.  They forgive us for our bad days, neglectful moments and times when we're just too busy, without expecting anything in return...they never hold a grudge. 

Yesterday morning, my stepdaughter woke and, being the first one up, went downstairs to feed our cats.  Wendell had his breakfast, laid down on his favorite doormat and went to sleep.  When I came downstairs, 30-45 minutes later, he was gone.  Just like that.  Peacefully in his sleep.  No warning, no suffering, no illness.  Completely unexpected.  He'd played with my stepson the night before and our other little cat, Widget (who follows him like a shadow) in the afternoon.  He made his usual rounds, in his usual routine, giving us all a snuggle, sleeping in his favorite spots and verbally letting me know when it was dinner time...like clockwork.  He was as regimented as I can be.  There was absolutely no indication that it was his time to go.  I'm glad to know he wasn't ill or suffering.  I'm grateful I didn't have to make the choice to put him down. He's been with me for almost 11 years...longer than I've known my husband.  People who don't like cats loved Wendell.  Thank God my stepchildren are with me right now.  They were 8 and 6 when they met him...now 17 and 15.  He's been a part of their life for nine years, since they were little kids.  They're shattered too, but have been so supportive.  My husband's away.  I would have been even more of a mess without them here.

So...go now and give your dog a treat and take him for a walk or a ride in the car (Wendell actually loved road trips, believe it or not).  Give your cat a stroke, a snuggle, and hug your family.  Say I love you before you go to bed at night or leave to run an errand.  You never know what tomorrow might bring.  As I write, it's now 1:30 in the morning.  Wendell won't be here when I wake.  He won't be sleeping outside our door on his pillow, waiting for me to rise (he greeted me every morning without fail).  He won't be sitting in the open doorway of my bedroom while I check my e-mail and have my tea in he morning.  He's not allowed in the bedroom, but dutifully would always sit or lie at the threshold, and was happy to do so, as long as he was able to see me.  He's always started purring the second I opened the door.

That's true unconditional love, offered in innocence and trust with no preconceived notions.  No expectations.  Just happy to be nearby, in each others' presence, nothing else needed....a true friend.

Thanks, Wendell, for teaching me every day how we should treat each other and how to be a better person.
I love you, buddy.  You're the best cat ever.

7 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear this. I cant even imagine my life without Toffy, our family's dog, she is like a sister to me.
    our condolences to you and the kids. He looks like a beautiful cat, and sounds like he was a good friend too.

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  2. It's so difficult to lose a loved pet. Wendell sounds like he was a wonderful member of your family. I hope you can take comfort in all the warm, fuzzy memories I'm sure he's left behind. :)

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  3. Thanks, ladies :)
    I'm just going to be in a blue funk for a little while. I'm rarely sad or down...not good at it at all! I know it seems superficial to some in the big scheme of things, but this has thrown me for a loop.

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  4. Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. They leave a huge hole in our lives when they go. They are truly part of the family, and anyone who says otherwise hasn't had the love of one of these fabulous animals.
    I lost the most wonderful cat/best friend, Amber, 3 years ago... she was 19 years old and I'd had her, (or rather she'd had me!) since she was a kitten. I was inconsolable. I had to make the choice to have her put to sleep, I so didn't want to, but it was the only fair thing to do. I still miss her beyond belief.
    She had her routines everyday, the same as Wendell, she took it in turns to share her love with the whole family, no one was ever left out! We all said she was almost human in her affections!!
    I will never forget her, as I know you will never forget Wendell. Keep looking at his photos, they help. I know I don't know you at all, I came across your blog from your Facebook fanpage, but I know what you are feeling.
    Sorry to go on for so long, I just realized how long! I hope you feel better soon, it will start to fade, bit by bit. My thoughts are with you. Kindest regards, Carolynne. x

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  5. Carolynne...that was just the huge hug I needed. You didn't go on too long. I love your comment. I really thought I'd have Wendell so much longer than I did, at least another three years. I can completely understand your torment with having to make a choice with Amber. My sister had to do the same with her cat a couple of years ago. I'm so grateful I didn't have to. I don't think I could have done it. Wendell was definitely special and you're right...he's left a huge hole. Opening the bedroom door this morning felt so empty. Our other cat, Widget, searches the house for him and sleeps on Wendell's cushion. It breaks my heart. He's so lost. As you say, the photos help. He's on my desktop now, so I at least get to see him. I know it will get better, but it's going to hurt for a while.

    Thank you so much for your lovely post. It's truly comforting.

    Best always,
    Amy

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  6. I am going to hug my little LULU right now - she's been the greatest little dog to me for the past 2.5 years. I feel badly when I am beading abway, and she drops a toy with the biggest brown eyes saying, "Mommy wanna play fetch" - I don't know what I would do without my little pubkin' - this is inspeirational and so meaningful - thanks for one of the best reads I have read in awhile.

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  7. Hi Layney. Thanks so much for your sweet comments. Wendell used to try to lie in my lap when I was working on a piece. Considering he was a huge cat, long, tall and 21 lbs, that often didn't work...but he'd find a compromise, just to be close.

    Give little LuLu a hug from me too ;) They're such faithful companions.

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